In lue of new beginnings

I wish I could say that all the things I have wanted to accomplish I have overcame, but that statement is infact untrue. I stand (rather sit) here and wish I could tell you that I felt as though I was a changed person and that everything bad in my life had left me long ago. The preceeding statement then would also be untrue.

Is my life better? sure I suppose it is. I find that many times we don't realize how good something truly is in the moment that it is happening, but rather it is later down the line when it is too late to recapture it that we realize the significance of that moment.

Sometimes I feel as though I am strong and that my trunk is so thick that no amount of harm could blow me down, and sometimes I feel as though I am just a branch and just a little wind could knock me down. I want to be the tall strong tree, the one that is unbreakable. I am too scared too often to be this person, I do not have the support system I previously had and that makes me feel even weaker.

Change scares me, like most I am stuck in my ways and I truly believe that my way is the right way and though it may seem wrong I am the norm in my thinking.