Break Down Here

I have good days and bad days, some days I can laugh while others I feel as if though I can barely breath.

Yesterday was a bad day...it left me with tears in my eyes as I tried to fall asleep last night. On days when Dan is not with me, those are my worst days. When I'm with him, I can put Brandon to the back of my mind and just ignore it. Pretend like its not sitting there, eating at my soul like it truly is.

There is a guy at work that reminds me of Brandon, very much of him. From his smell, to his eyes, to his laugh, the way he draws me in sometimes...

I can still hear his voice, calming me, I wish he could still sing to me, I remember the way it made my heart flutter with joy, I don't know if I can give up on us now.

I know I can say we're through, tell myself I'm over you. But even if I made a vow, I promise not to miss you now, even if I try to hide the truth inside. I just can't live a lie.

I can't forget the look that tells me that you want me, or the reasons that make lovin you so easy? The kiss that always makes it hard to breath? Or the way you know just what I mean.