As I sit here, I let myself wonder at what point it will truly ever be enough? At what point will I let go enough and decide that things with him just aren't worth it anymore? When will I decide that I am so much better than this, that I deserve everything that life can give me, and that life can give me so much better than him? I wish that I knew, god do I. She's pushing a wedge between us again and truthfully I have no idea what to even do anymore. I'm scared because honestly I know I am going to lose him its just a matter of time now. I am scared because I do not know what the hell to do anymore.
I am scared that without him I am going to be lost again, that I am not going to know what it is exactly that I need to do. I don't know how to move on, obviously if I did I would have left him a long time ago the first time that this happened.
Why can't I be enough for him? I don't honestly think I am ever going to be enough and I don't know what exactly I am going to do. I just know that I am scared, very very very scared. I am lost in this world and if only I knew what it is that I need to do, then maybe life will make sense again.
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