Safest Place to Hide

When Pancho asked about my wants, my desires it sent me thinking, and honestly since I haven't stopped, this post will be long but I won't apologize. Its a hard one for me to write.

I think that humans crave just a few simple things; Food, sleep, love and other human contact. Obviously I am completly fine fufilling the first two on my own. I can both feed myeslf and fall asleep.

When I talk about love I'm not talking about puppy dog love, I'm talking about deep emotional unconditional love. The kind where you are deeply connected to someone. This kind of love breaks through the barriers, and leaves you connected to a person in a way that you yourself never really felt posssible.

I want to be someone's everything, I want to be the firs thing on his mind when he wakes up, the last thing on his mind when he goes to bed and everything else in between. I don't want him to think, but to know that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, both inside and out. I want him to know when something's wrong and he's in 2,000 miles away just because he can feel it.

I want to be able to get lost in his eyes, in his arms and in his heart. I want to feel safe when he holds me, I want to be his world. I want to come before his friends, though its still important that he keeps friends, I want him to come home after a night with the boys and say "baby I'm just glad to be home" I want his love to be enough, to be enough to satisfy that ultimate place in my heart, it must be someone who can be my better half.

I want someone who can compliment me, not take away what I have to offer the world. When he looks at me, I want him to feel like he's the lucky one. I want him to think that his search is over, because no one can ever be as amazing as me. I want him to make passionate love to me, not just have sex, I want there to be that soul-connection, I want to feel ultimatley close to him while we make love, to feel the ultimate connection.

I want him to look into my eyes every night and think about how beautiful I am. I want him want to change absolutley nothing about me, because I am as perfect as he wants. I want him to be sensitive enough to understand my needs as a woman, but also to have a masculine side to him, a protective side.

When we're 50, I want him to still look at me and think the things he thought when we were twenty. I want him to think that age has only improved me. I want him to think that I've only made his life better and to have no regrets. I want him to be more in love with me than he's ever been.

I think because of my past with my father (I will post about this at a later date) my whole life I have felt threatened by men, until I met Brandon. You may think the above doesn't exist, but have experienced it myself I would have to tell you that your wrong, because I know it does. I have felt it, and when losing it, it creates the biggest hole, the deepest emptiness you could ever imagine feeling.

I want him to be my safest place to hide.