When your gone...

There are days when it feels like I can't breath without him. Just as I start to pick up the pieces, to maybe move on, my mind wanders back to him and it hurts more than ever. I hate that I gave him so much of me, the pieces of my heart are missing him. He has Chuch now, whom he loves very much, I have Dan, whom sometimes I think I am trying to convince myself to love. I don't know how to let him in, how to let him love me, maybe its too soon, maybe my heart just isn't ready. I want him to hold me, I want to look into his eyes again, to feel his gentle touch...

I dreamt once that I lost you, we were on iceburgs, and I can’t remember if you were floating away from me or if I was floating away from you, but I remember waking up beside you. It was the middle of the night and it was raining, like tonight. And I heard your breathing, calming me, it was like we could speak without words. I wondered how and when we learned it, this secret language. I only know that at some point, in the silences, I heard you. And now I’m left with words, these useless words, when all I want is to be beside you again, to make you feel safe, to help you sleep, to bring you back to me.