So as I lay awake last night thinking about the last week or so, thinking about how weird life has been lately I think I may have come to a realization, which follows below;
For awhile, at least at first I stayed with Dan for what I thought was the sex, because I needed human contact, I needed touch. Now I realize differently, its not the sex, its in that moment afterward. The distinct moment in which I feel absolutley safe, that nothing can touch me, that it really all will be ok.
Recently (about the last 2 weeks) life has been really rocky, there have been some rough patches, speed bumps in my path. Dan being my main comfort, I think I'm letting myself fall for him, and I don't even really know that if in my life I'm ready for love, at least not yet.
Is it too soon since Brandon? Is my heart ready for this? I'm not sure, because my wounds still really haven't healed. Only time will tell.
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